New Survivor Series for HUSBANDS! Funny!

Two weeks ago I gave birth to a newborn baby girl, which meant that I disappeared from my home for six whole days (3 days at the hospital and 3 more days at the Beit Hachlama/Recovery House). This funny anonymous email I received from my friend Sari Cohen of New Hampshire reminded me of my husband managing on his own with the kids while I was away, and why he was so extremely happy when I returned home!
THE
NEXT SURVIVOR
SERIES:
Six married men
will be dropped on an island
with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.
There is no fast food.
Each man must
take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook,
do laundry,
and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills
with not enough money.

In addition,
each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time–no emailing.

Each man must also take each child
to a doctor’s appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside, and keeping it
presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television
when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs,

wear makeup daily,

adorn themselves with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,

keep fingernails polished,

and eyebrows groomed

They must attend weekly school meetings
and find time at least once to spend
the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair
by 7:30 am.

A test will be given
at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child’s birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man left can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!

photo courtesy of Flickr.com user Insight Imaging: John A Ryan Photography

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One comment

  1. Assayah family

    Mazal tov for your new baby girl! A lot of nachat to you and your family.
    May G-d bless you and give you the strengh to raise up her and all of her brothers and sisters in into Torah’s derech and massim tovim. Thank you for giving so much of your precious times to write this blog that I appreciate so much. Arbe nahat and hatsacha. Thank you.
    Emmanuelle Assayah, Paris

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