Abuse in the Jewish Community: An Orthodox-Friendly Resource List
Recently a famous rebbetzin was brought in to give us Nachlaot moms some chizuk in the aftermath of the pedophile crisis that you moms have been hearing about so much over recent months.
Afterwards, I waited in the line to ask the rebbetzin a personal question. When my turn arrived I told her how much I have enjoyed listening to recordings of her classes over the years, and what an honor it is to finally meet her in person. And then I asked her what I really had on my mind:
“Rebbetzin, maybe it’s a bad idea to remain in a neighborhood this dangerous. Maybe we should move somewhere safer?”
This rebbetzin, who up until then had been searching in her purse for something, abruptly stopped her searching, and looked up at me with sad, piercing eyes. She asked me, “And where exactly is this safe place you are planning to move to?”
The rebbetzin then went on to list, at length, the Orthodox communities throughout Israel and the world that over recent years have been hit by crises similar to the nightmare we are currently enduring in Nachlaot.
Dr. Michael Salamon, a clinical psychologist with 2 decades of experience treating frum victims of abuse, is the author of the newly-released book Abuse in the Jewish Community: Religious and Communal Factors that Undermine the Apprehension of Offenders and the Treatment of Victims (Urim). This excellent, comprehensive book provides harrowing statistics and stories that illustrate the extent as well as the causes of this widespread evil within our midst.
On behalf of all JewishMOMs everywhere I would like to thank Dr. Salamon and his publisher (and mine) Tzvi Mauer as well as Rabbi Blau, who provides the book’s haskama, for taking the brave step to publish and support this controversial book in order to keep our children safe, IY”H.
I am reprinting here the book’s extensive list of Orthodox-friendly links and resources, which I hope will enable prevention of and treatment for abuse in our holy communities throughout the world (feel free to recommend other resources in the comments below):
Abuse Prevention and Treatment Resources
http://www.miklat.org/ Confronting Domestic Violence in Israel:
Oers shelters for women, transitional housing, hostel for teens
and legal aid for all.
http://www.batmelech.org/index-english.html Bat Melech-Miklat
works with families and women of all ages addressing domestic
violence, from economic empowerment to breaking the inter-
generational cycle of violence, and from advocacy in the courts to
lobbying the government.
http://www.stopitnow.com/warnings A comprehensive site
designed for parents to prevent sexual abuse of children.
http://www.darkness2light.org/ Programs for prevention of
childhood sexual abuse.
http://www.ndvh.org/ The National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Education, resources and links.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/programs/types/
sexualabuse.cfm The Child Welfare Information Gateway for
Prevention of Abuse and Neglect.
http://www.aap.org/publiced/B!_SexAbuse.htm The American
Academy of Pediatrics: Guidelines for keeping children safe from
predators.
http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/ Child protection and abuse
prevention information.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/childsexualabuse.html The
US National Institute of Health: Source and reference site for
articles, programs and guidelines for child and domestic safety.
http://www.heroproject.org/ Organized by the Pennsylvania
Coalition Against !ape: Provides consultation.
http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/ace/index.htm The Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention: Portal to the study of Adverse
Childhood Experiences.
http://www.endabuse.org/ The Family Violence Prevention Fund: Programs for children and families.
http://www.endabuse.org/userfiles/file/Consensus.pdf National
Consensus: Guidelines on identifying and responding to domestic
violence victimization. Provides specific recommendations
for assessing and responding to domestic violence that may be
applied to health care settings; also useful as a general database.
Some Suggested Readings
For Children
[CJ Weisberg’s additions: After this list was compiled Artscroll released the 1st Orthodox children’s book ever to educate frum kids on how to protect themselves from abuse:
*Let’s Stay Safe by Bracha Goetz (Artscroll)
*No-No the Little Seal by Sherri Patterson is a highly-recommended book that enables Orthodox moms to effectively educate their kids about the dangers of abuse in a modest way.]
• No More Secrets. San Luis Obispo: Impact Publishers.
• Amazing Spider-Man and Power Pack on Sexual Abuse.
• Private Zone. The Chas. Franklin Press: WA.
• What If I Say No! Bakersfield: M. H. Cap. & Co.
• The Silent Children: A Parent’s Guide to the Prevention of Child
Sexual Abuse.
• Once I Was a Little Bit Frightened and Red Flag, Green Flag. Rape
and Abuse Crisis Center.
Adolescents
• Daddy’s Girl. New York: Berkeley Books.
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
• Kiss Daddy Goodnight. New York: Pocket Books.
• The Color Purple. New York: Pocket Books.
Adults
• The Right To Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual
Abuse. New York: Ivy Books.
• Betrayal of Innocence. New York: Penguin Books.
• Victims No Longer: Men “Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual
Child Abuse.” New York: Nevraumont Publishing Co.
• AM I BAD? “Recovering from Abuse (New Horizons in Therapy).
Ewart, III, H. B. Ann Arbor, MI: Loving Healing Press.
• “EPAI” Your Life: A Program for “Recovery from Incest & Child-
hood Sexual Abuse. McKinnon, M. and Taylor, M. Ann Arbor,
MI: Loving Healing Press.
• Gifts From the Child Within: Self-discovery and Self-recovery
through Re-Creation Therapy.
• Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace
Within
• The Trauma Myth
• Tips for survivors of sexual abuse: A pocket book of wisdom
Videos
• The Color Purple
• Nuts
• Something About Amelia
• Winnie the Pooh – Too Smart for Strangers
Wow, CJ – what an amazing list you’ve put together. Unfortunately I need to pass some of this information along… Yesher Koach.
Child and Domestic Abuse Volume I by Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn
http://www.amazon.com/Child-Domestic-Abuse-Daniel-Eidensohn/dp/1453893075
A view of the dynamics of child and domestic abuse in general and in the Orthodox Jewish community in particular. This material is the result of discussions and guidance I have had from Rav Moshe Sternbuch of the Eidah Chareids as well as psychologists, lawyers and other experts. The nature of abuse as well as long term psychological damage are discussed in detail. A series of 25 articles written by experts in abuse provide a 3 dimensional understanding of this difficult issue.Thus the dynamics of psychology are connected with Jewish law (halacha) as well as the sociological and secular legal concerns. . The book contains practical advice as well as a 6 pages summary of the issues that I wrote that was reviewed and commented on by Rav Sternbuch.
The world itself is a dangerous place. Always has been. We just know about it more because of the world being connected by the internet. But the world itself isn’t actually worse, we’re just more aware of it, which makes it scarier. But as King Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun.”
Hashem needs our help to care for the world, which we do by being kind to others.
Whatever happens, please don’t let what’s happening stop you from being kind to others. That would be the biggest tragedy of them all – and that’s how evil wins, when it makes good people give up their
kindness for others from a sense of futility or anger.
Aside from this, when I considered leaving the neighborhood two years ago a friend of mine pointed out that every neighborhood has its terrible people, and it’s just a matter of weeding them out. She reminded me that it would be time consuming and take more emotional turmoil to have to figure out who those people would be in a new neighborhood, so why bother moving. It’s actually easier to cope in a neighborhood where you’ve already figured out who the nasty people to avoid are.
Chizku V’Imtzu,
Nofia