My Nachlaot Flight Simulator

My Nachlaot Flight Simulator

“Chag Sameach” the pedophile greeted me this Yom Kippur morning.

I didn’t respond. But his unanswered “Chag Sameach” got me ruminating on the holiest of days about the bizarre movie that Hashem placed me in this year. Well, not exactly a movie. But sort of. Let me explain to you how I’ve been thinking recently about my utterly crazy year spent in this crawling-with-pedophiles place I call home (click here to read about the Nachlaot Pedophile Crisis)…

My friend’s son is training to become a fighter pilot for the Israeli military. And he has spent hundreds of hours so far in a state-of-the-art flight simulator. This flight simulator is like a very sophisticated video game in which the person being trained is flying a plane, and there are anti-aircraft missiles coming at him from all directions for hours at a time. And dodging and firing at and coping with all of these virtual missiles is training him to become the best possible fighter pilot.

And that, my dear JewishMOMs, is how I’ve been thinking about my neighborhood over recent weeks. I turn my corner, and there’s a pedophile. I turn another corner, and there’s another pedophile’s brother who looks curiously sheepish today. Later I walk into the corner story, and there’s yet another pedophile buying a pack of cigarettes. And on my way home, I pass his sister, a person I used to be friendly with who now passes me by in stony silence.

All these people are my anti-aircraft missiles. Hashem, I believe, has placed me in this bizarre flight simulator to enable me to become the best possible human being. I don’t really know how exactly this craziness is making me into a better human being, but I try to have trust that Hashem knows what He’s doing, even if I don’t.

Part of the problem is that I often feel, in this flight simulator, like Hashem has placed my setting way above my level, at “Advanced” when my coping-with-unrepentant-criminals skill level is actually “Absolute Beginner.” Over the past year, I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself in the most insanely bizarre situations and interactions that leave me thinking, “This is just too weird, Hashem! What the heck am I supposed to do now, Hashem?”

And that is when I try to follow writer Miriam Gitlin’s advice. When she gets overwhelmed, she reminds herself, “Pray, do your best, and let Hashem do the rest.”

And that’s what I try to say too. “Hashem, You put me here. In this flight simulator. I just wanted to be a mom and a wife and Mrs. JewishMOM.com, and You, in Your ultimate wisdom had other plans for me. I am praying. And I am trying. But I am really, really out of my depth here. So please, Hashem, please help me through. I need You.”

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6 comments

  1. Wiw, jenny, im so sorry you have to not forgive during these high holidays! But I am so proud of you for staying on top of your inspirational fuel and well, ammunition…all the books, writers rebbetzins are your weapons against letting them take away your happiness, your home. Chag Sameach and I pray for you and all of the innocent families in Nachlaot! May justice prevail and you all feel sound again!

  2. i can certainly relate to feeling out of your depth

    i feel that way in some areas of my life too

    the truth is that we are probably ALL surrounded by unrepentant pedophiles

    we just don’t know who they are

    and you do

    now there’s a comforting thought

  3. stay strong and hashem should protect your family and all the families of the neighborhood. chag samaech.

  4. How are the victims healing, growing, and maturing after this harrowing experience? The perpetrators don’t disappear even though that would be the ideal dream ending. We all need to be on the alert no matter where we are.

  5. Perpetrators should be made to “disappear,” in a good justice system.

  6. Cindy in the USA

    My thoughts (in addition to my private email to you) is that I don’t think you’re in a flight SIMULATOR.

    You’re IN the flight itself.

    May Hashem strengthen you and help you in this righteous endeavor.

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