Why I’m Not Going to the Barbeque, and You Can’t Make Me!
I just received an invitation to the Friends School Alumni Barbeque. But I’m definitely not going…
It’s not that I don’t have a lot of warm feelings towards my alma mater and my old classmates. I do! And it’s not that I’m opposed to going to reunions. I’m not! I even find myself giggling from time to time as I imagine the bewildered questions my classmates would ask me if I showed up at my 25th high school reunion this coming summer…(You live WHERE? You’re an Orthodox…WHAT? You have HOW MANY kids? )
To understand why not going, you need to read the invitation I received from the alumni office:
TOM LAMONICA ’67 FRIENDS SCHOOL ALUMNI BARBEQUE & CRAB FEAST
at SCARLET & GRAY DAY
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Zamoiski Alumni Center
Enjoy steamed crabs, barbeque fare, raw oysters, local craft beer, wine and more.
$20 kids 12-18
Free kids under 12
So that we may plan, please RSVP by October 1. Please also forward this to your Friends School friends who live in/near Baltimore!
More info and RSVP information.
(If you have any trouble RSVPing online, please let me know!)
Friends School of Baltimore
And the invitation was accompanied by three photos which I will explain in the captions just in case any of you are not Friends-School-graduates…
So even if the TOM LAMONICA ’67 FRIENDS SCHOOL ALUMNI BARBEQUE & CRAB FEAST was being held in Nachlaot (and not 6000 miles away) I definitely wouldn’t be attending…for two main reasons:
1. I don’t attend barbeques on Shabbos.
2. I don’t attend functions where this creature that looks like an overgrown insect is dinner.
It was interesting for me to see the difference between the way I reacted to this invitation and the way my kids did when I showed it to them…Even though this crab photo repulses me, somewhere deep down my lizard brain remembers the mouthwatering taste of a crab-cake sandwich with mayo and lettuce on a feather-pillow-soft hamburger roll. In fact, at the beginnings of my pregnancies I sometimes have an urgent craving for the shell fish of my wayward youth (B”H I discovered that they sell frozen kosher imitation shrimp in Israel…very yum.)
But my FFB kids? When I showed them this invitation and the barbeque’s main course Hallel literally screamed.
And Hallel shared a story that took place when she and her sister Maayan were visiting their grandparents in North America this past August. This is what she told me:
Hallel: One day cousin Katie* was eating pasta with cockroaches on top. I’m not kidding, actual cockroaches.
Maayan: Not real cockroaches. The cockroaches that live in the ocean…
Hallel: Ken, shreemp. So Katie asked if I wanted some and I told her I wasn’t allowed. They’re not kosher. So Katie said, “What? You don’t have any free choice?!”
Me: Hmmm, so what did you tell her?
Hallel: I told her I DO have free choice. The free choice to NOT eat cockroaches!