Coping with My Mother’s Death by Anonymous (Rabbi Nivin Chabura Testimonial)
The Personal Development Chabura of my teacher, Rabbi Aryeh Nivin, was named one of the six most ambitious spiritual initiatives by Family First magazine. Visit www.newchabura.com to find out more about joining the $1 no-commitment 2-class Life Purpose seminar for women– starting this week.
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Here’s one woman’s personal reflections of participating in Rabbi Nivin’s Chabura.
Over the last few months I have been more grateful than ever for being part of the Chaburas.
I had been caring for my sick mother and it was taking a huge toll on me, both emotionally and physically. I am a young mother. Too young, I felt, to be in this position of caring for my own mother, who should have had many more years of vibrancy ahead of her.
The trips to and from doctors and hospitals were draining to say the least. But using the tools I learned over my years in R’ Nivin’s Chabura, I really felt Hashem holding my hand the whole way through.
I made use of the “Yeud [life purpose] in the moment” paradigm – without exaggeration – every waking moment of every day. Trying to juggle my work obligations with my own family’s needs and my mother’s needs was something I did not take lightly and R’ Nivin really lit the way for me there as well. I was able to step back, remove myself ever so slightly from the situation at hand, and ask myself the question, “What does Hashem want from me now?” And when the answer came, I knew I could trust myself to be doing the right thing, to the best of my understanding, in each situation.
For me, it was also therapeutic in a way. When the time came for my mother to return her soul to the One Above, I had the closure of knowing I had done everything I could to care of her in the proper way, to ease her transition as much as possible, and that feeling spilled over into my home in a very positive way.
After the week of shiva, I called in to my regular weekly Chabura and it just so happened that R’ Nivin was covering the mourning module with us that very week!
I have listened to this module many times over the last few weeks and it has really helped me as I proceed through the stages of mourning in this year of mourning for my mother.
I hope that my continued learning and working on focusing on my purpose in each moment will provide an aliyah for her neshama. Tehei nishmata tzerurah b’tzror hachayim.