Pesach Energy-Sapper of the Day: “I Snapped at My Kids. I am a Terrible Mother!”

Pesach Energy-Sapper of the Day: “I Snapped at My Kids. I am a Terrible Mother!”

In this year’s pre-Pesach class, my teacher Rabbi Aryeh Nivin (www.newchabura.com) responded to complaints he has heard from women over the years regarding Passover. I could relate to quite a few of the complaints, and I found Rabbi Nivin’s responses to them really helpful. So, I decided to post a Pesach Energy-Sapper for your reading pleasure every single day until Passover, followed by an answer based on Rabbi Nivin’s response. ENJOY!

Passover Energy-Sapper #2: I CAN NEVER BE ANGRY, SNAPPY, MEAN OR TOUGH WITH MY CHILDREN OR SPOUSE. THAT WOULD MEAN I AM A BAD WIFE AND MOTHER. I CAN’T BE HUMAN DURING THIS EXPERIENCE.

Response: You are a human being.

Expecting yourself to never lose your cool with your family members is unrealistic. If you set your standards too high, you are setting yourself up for failure and unnecessary stress. Being angry, snappy etc. at one point or another is nearly inevitable on this pre-Passover journey we are on.

So don’t expect yourself to be superhuman. If you get angry, that’s OK! It’s normal!

If you do start yelling, then regroup and pull yourself together.

Take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and get a fresh start.

Chag Kasher v’Sameach!

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6 comments

  1. After the Sassoon tradegy I am really more mellow and not allowing myself to become snappy. But this morning, ever single person in this house was testing me. I didn’t snap or yell, I spoke very slowly, calmy but strict. I felt so much anger inside. I felt like a failure for feeling anger after what happened.

  2. I appreciate what he is saying. But it made me feel like if i am angry or snappy at my kids at any other time throughout the year then i am a bad mother?

    • JewishMom

      I think what he’s saying applies to any day of the year. If you act in a way that you wish you hadn’t, don’t feel bad about it, just take your next small step in pulling yourself together. He doesn’t just say this about Pesach and parenting, but all year round in every facet of our lives which challenge us.

  3. Do you know rabbi Arush´s song: ma ché haya haya haykar lehathil méhathla! Abba tehazek oti légamré tadlik li et hanéchama!” When my kids bring me to a boil i sing this it really helps! You can find it on Youtube for the tune!!
    It means ” what happened happened the main thing is to start again from the beginning; Abba reinforce me totally and light up my soul!!”

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