An Occasionally Frustrated Mother = A Better Mother
Every mother sometimes feels angry at her kids.
Every mother sometimes feels irritated with her kids.
Every mother sometimes loses it with her kids.
And, it turns out, that’s a very good thing!
In this week’s New York Times Magazine, Journalist Andrew Solomon shared something which this occasionally ambivalent JewishMOM found fascinating, liberating, and comforting.
“The British psychoanalyst Rozsika Parker has argued that competent mothering requires two warring impulses — to nurture the child on one hand, and to push him or her into the world on the other — and suggested that maternal ambivalence was the catalyst for achieving these apparently opposed objectives.
“But modern society has stigmatized the pushing and sentimentalized the clinging, and so we have denied basic truths and caused ambivalent mothers to see themselves as bad even though ambivalence can be highly productive.
“Mothers often exaggerate, to themselves and to others, their protective, adoring feelings, and they discount their feelings of irritation or anger as weaknesses.
“But a child should meet with irritation and anger some of the time; he or she should understand what those emotions are, what provokes them, how they are expressed and how they are resolved.”
Three cheers for us! The imperfect/perfect moms!