I am Freaking Out, But…

I am Freaking Out, But…

Freaking out.
Locking me and my family inside this house and throwing away the key.

That’s what I wanted to do after my husband called to tell me about this morning’s wave of terror attacks around Jerusalem and Israel.

But then I looked at my 23-item long to-do list, and realized that I can’t lock myself in the house until I make sure my 8 and 10-year-old have working cellphones (to be used in case of emergency on the off chance that I ever let them out of this house ever again.)

I walked quickly from my home out to the Givat Shaul shopping area. Was it just my imagination, or were all the drivers passing me by looking quite relieved and grateful that they were inside locked cars and not easy prey out on the street like this JewishMOM?

When I walked into the cellphone store, the owner was discussing this morning’s attacks with a buddy. From his tone I suspected that he wished he could close up his store and rush home like I was about to.

As I passed the owner my credit card he said, “Everything happening now is very stressful. I live in Pisgat Zeev. You know the 13-year-old boy who was stabbed in Pisgat Zeev while he was riding his bike yesterday? My brother-in-law saved his life.

“What? Really?”

“Yes, really. The boy used to help out at my brother-in-law’s store, and yesterday he was on his way there when the terrorist stabbed him and nearly killed him. The boy screamed out to my brother in law, “Asi! Help, I’m dying!”

“My brother-in-law didn’t have anything else, so he stopped the bleeding from the boy’s artery with a clean floor rag.”

And then the owner pulled up his sleeve and showed me his forearm, which was covered from top to bottom with white goosebumps.


An unexpected wave of terror met by a city of heroes I never knew existed.

On the way home from the cell phone store I spoke with my learning partner, Chaya.

I told her, “Chaya, I’m freaking out. Panicking. Want to lock me and my family in my house and throw away the key.”

And she reminded me of some things I needed to hear.

She reminded me that panicking never helps.

She reminded me that “Ain Od Milvado”–everything that happens is from Hashem.

She reminded me that Hashem wants me to use common sense regarding safety– keeping my door locked and avoiding dangerous areas.

And she reminded me that despite the current stress, my home should remain a happy, pleasant place to be. As a family we should read some Psalms together or say blessings out loud or work harder to be kind to one another–to bring about Hashem’s mercy. But, in general, my home should remain a tightly-sealed ark floating joyfully and safely along the waves of havoc.

And maybe, in that small way, you and I, JewishMOM, can be heroes too.

Related posts:

Dear Debra: I Made Aliya, and I'm Miserable!
Mother Sued for "Bad Mothering"
Opening the Eyes of My Blind Son: An Interview with this Week's JewishMOM, Daniella Levy


  1. I can’t imagine how frightening it must be.
    Hashem should save you and your loved ones from any harm and keep you and your family safe (and all Jews!)
    We should see the Geula soon!

  2. Yes, your home should be an island of repose, for the sake of the little ones. This is when your trust in Hashem is tested. Your children are watching and taking their cues from you. May you be safe, my dear friend. I keep you in my heart and prayers continually.

  3. Thank you (and Chaya!) for these important reminders

  4. Beautiful Jenny.

    Trying to find the balance between doing normal hishtaldut and having emunah. That’s our goal.

    Chodesh tov,



  5. I read this post twice. Even though I am far from Jerusalem I feel the tension and stress and am so deeply concerned about the situation. My thoughts and prayers with you and all of am yisrael.

  6. Needed to hear this as I am so scared and my kids are feeling my fear

  7. anyone has an updated (…) list of names of the wounded so far?

    • Here’s some information I received in an e-mail yesterday. May we merit to see the Geula soon! Chodesh Tov.

      Names of injured (from several sources) for prayers in the current war. Unfortunately this is not a final list:
      – Yom Tov Lipa ben Royza
      – Adel bat Miriam
      – Natan ben Adel
      – Aharon Moshe Chaim ben Chaya Chana
      – Meir Yitzchak ben Sarah
      – Dvir ben Shoshana
      – Maor ben Daniella
      – Orel bat Limor
      – Naor Shalev ben Ruth
      – Ron Shai bat Shoshana (or ben Sigalit)
      – Avraham ben Ruth
      – Sagi ben Orit
      – Nir ben Shoshana
      – Moshe ben Orly
      – Inbar bat Chana
      – Chananel ben Shula
      – Yair ben Shoshana
      – Shai Yitzchak ben Nili
      – Ido ben Tali
      – Sahar ben Shoshana
      – Yossef Chaim ben Zahava
      L’refuah shlemah betoch shaar cholei Yisrael!!!
      For continuous, updated lists of injured individuals from the current, and past terror attacks, as well as donation opportunities, for the families (including widows and orphans) of those killed and/or injured, check out One Family Fund.

  8. So beautiful how you connected it all to this weeks Parsha.

    May Hashem keep everyone physically, emotionally and psychologically safe.

  9. I live on the other side of the world. But my prayers are for you and your family to be safe and may HaShem protect all of Israel and send Moshiach speedily in our days.

  10. Thank you for saying exactly what we are all feeling!
    I especially love the title.

  11. I live on the other side of the world too, but yesterday there was hate propaganda put out all over my side of Providence, Rhode Island. The hate is not only in Eretz Yisroel, far away. They closed down the neighborhood and had hazmat teams all over making sure it was safe. Here, in America. Doesn’t feel so far away anymore.

Leave a Reply