Rethinking Challenges (15-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Rethinking Challenges (15-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

The profound pleasure of passing life’s tests– even if we feel like we failed.

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4 comments

  1. Very very very well put. I also have a rebitzen like this in my life since seminary. I am happy I have that but I also tell myself she is not perfect and she is trying to do the Will of Hashem like I am.

  2. shoshana

    Dear Chana,

    thanks for a great talk,

    What does it mean to pass the test anyhow ? Just how you tell whether this particular person did what was required of her given her specific mission in life and the spiritual madrega? Only Hashem knows.
    It might be that a real proof of having passed your nisayon is whether you see Hashem behind what’s happening, but only Him. And then seek what’s needed of you. I heard from Rebetzin Schwartz that “…Hashem is close to those who call upon Him in truth ” means those who call truly only upon Him.

    Just this morning I asked my son to help me with some dishes but
    he refused with the usual excuse ( everyone who has kids heard many variations of these terutzim ) At first I became upset because I really had
    lots of work besides and he used the dishes after all, why not to clean up.
    But then I realized that only Hashem decides how much work I will end up doing every day, I won’t do any more or less because someone else didn’t do his share. There are so many other possibilities for Hashem to put me to work ( spills, kids’stomach upsets, stains, etc) or, alternatively, let me
    have a relatively easy day (other kids cooperating, food eaten no fuss, less or no little accidents, kids fall asleep early, ….). The fact that this particular child refused to help is his own cheshbon with Hashem and I’m not affected by his choice in any way ! I’m not a sufferer of other people bad choices.
    For those of us who take much to heart poor choices our kids sometimes make,
    here an inspiration from Tzila Greenberg of Ofra, manchat horim made in Heaven really :
    when it will be absolutely,crystal clear to you that the child himself is the one who looses from his bad choice,it’s his choice and it’s’his life, then you will let go of responsibility for his choices and he will pick it up – why in the world will he continue to loose ? It’s not kiday for him, doesn’t pay off.
    But how we usually see it – we take it as if he did something to us,caused us frustration or disappointment if he doesn’t learn, for example.

    That is our real work, our avoda as mothers, says Tzila-not to be mixed in there, forever present to supervise his choices but to really trust in his spirit and his divine soul and his innate holiness as a Jew who wants to do ratzon Hashem , to have faith in our child that he will choose right and to put hope where it belongs -hope to Hashem.
    That is our real challenge as mothers, the biggest of them all, I believe.

    Thank you for your blessing of us all, appreciated indeed.

    Love,

    shoshana

    • Thanks, shoshana, for these thoughts. I like to think that Hashem has assigned me my portion and my cup – each day. How will the child learn, if we do not live that way ourselves? I like what you said, “Hashem decides” – may we, His servants, be grateful in trusting Him – and may our children learn to make right choices.

    • JewishMom

      thanks shoshana, I loved this

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