How to Feel Hashem Loves You

How to Feel Hashem Loves You

In preparation for Shavuot I’ve done some reading and listened to some classes about the holiday, and a recurring theme everywhere I turn is how much Hashem loves me.

You should feel how much Hashem loves you every moment!
You know how much you love your child? Hashem loves you even more!
If you knew how much Hashem loves you, you would feel happy always!

And of course, I would love to feel that Hashem loves me. And I think my head gets that. My head knows that Hashem created me and is proud of me and loves me.

But the truth is that in my heart and in my gut I don’t feel that Hashem loves me. I know it but I don’t FEEL it.

Every time a teacher mentions Hashem’s love, I try. I try to feel that Hashem loves me. And every time I try to do that, it reminds of the time a teacher instructed us to spend several minutes saying the blessing over a raisin, concentrating deeply on the inner meaning of each word. Baruch Atah Hashem, Elokeynu…But I finished (and gobbled my raisin) several minutes before everyone else since I actually have no idea what the deeper, inner meaning of “Baruch Atah…etc.” is.

So twice this week, I asked people how I could feel that Hashem loves me…

When I asked my neighbor, she told me what she learned, that if she wants to feel Hashem’s love she should imagine it pouring down on her like a little waterfall, falling onto her head and the back of her spine. Feeling Hashem’s love enveloping her like water.

Yesterday, at a neighborhood class, author Elana Mizrachi had a different suggestion for me. She said that every Shabbat she and her family share stories around the table of hashgacha pratit, of Divine Providence. And remembering the way Hashem watches out for her and helps her every single day makes her feel Hashem’s love.

So today, after davening, I decided to try it out.

I tried to think of an experience of hashgacha pratit, and remembered something that happened 2 years ago this week. My mother-in-law, who lives in Canada, had planned her trip to visit us at the end of May many months before. And, as it turned out, her arrival on that specific date enabled me to travel to Baltimore on the day my father went into surgery, and to be at my mother’s side when my father suffered a heart attack and spent several days fighting for his life in the ICU.

Hashem had organized everything so perfectly. Had provided just the right injection of kindness into that difficult test.

And I imagined Hashem’s love pouring down on me, like the Ein Gedi waterfall, on my head and spine.

Surrounding me with His love, just like my ancestors on that first Shavuot at Har Sinai.

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4 comments

  1. i try to spend some time reviewing the day’s hashgacha pratis every night before i fall asleep.
    on days when things get very intense, i stop a moment and review the hashgacha pratis of that day/event and i find that i can “see” Hashem’s hand holding me, bringing me to this moment.
    during my most pressured moments, i close my eyes and concentrate on feeling Hashem’s hand holding me….

  2. So my Har Sinai goal was to feel H’shems love. My daily avodah. See 1 way H’shem loves me. I was pondering did I get there ? And then I reads your poise! Thank you!!!

  3. Hadassah

    I am in the middle of reading a wonderful book called When the Time is Right which is a compilation of stories of Hashgacha Pratis. This article ties right in. Continued success with your amazing blog. Hashem loves you for sure!💕

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