What I Said to the Mom Getting Divorced (3-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

What I Said to the Mom Getting Divorced (3-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Reminding myself, in the age of social media, how important it can be to help a single person.


This morning I saw a mother I see several mornings a week at gan drop-off and pick-up. She looked unusually lovely this morning, in a long flowing floral dress. So I told this mother, whose name I don’t know, “Wow, you look beautiful today!”

This woman has always struck me as a strong person. A real sabra. So I was pretty surprised when she drew closer to me, and I saw that she looked nervous, shaken. She said, “Please bless me that I should be successful today.”

Maybe she was on her way to a job interview? I thought. So I was shocked when she told me, “You heard that I’m getting divorced, right? Today is the beit din. Please bless me!”

“Oh…I hadn’t heard!…” and I dug into my heart and said, with real focus: “I bless you with hatslacha, with success, I bless you with all the yeshuot, help in every area you need in life, please God.”

I felt so happy that our paths had crossed this morning. To give her a blessing and a tiny spark of encouragement on one of the most challenging days of her life.

Last week I had to call a certain well-known rebbetzin to ask a small question I was embarrassed to bother her with.

When I called her home phone, she answered on the first ring. I apologized for bothering her, twice. But she didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, she sounded genuinely happy to help me out.

Afterwards I thought how remarkable that was. That I called a person, a public figure no less, on her home phone, and she answered right away. And that she answered my silly question with zero self-importance and 100% sense of shlichut, to help a fellow Jew who needed her help at that moment.

Since Shavuot, I’ve been thinking a lot about something. In this age of the internet, it’s hard to remember. It’s easy to forget how important it is to help a single person.

You can post something on your neighborhood list, and reach a hundred people within minutes. I can post something on facebook and reach 5000 people by dinner.

It is very easy, at least for me, to get lost in what a friend once referred to as “all this biggering and biggering.” We want to be bigger, to reach more people. Rather than focusing on the importance of reaching out and helping a single person in need.

And I’ve been thinking about how, if I post something, and it gets 1000 likes that is not necessarily a more successful post than something that I posted that was read by a single person for whom that post helped them that day, like my blessing to the sabra wearing a beautiful dress this morning.

And I’ll go further than that. What if I posted something, and nobody, not even one person saw it. Except me. Cause I had to see it, cause I wrote it! And that thing that I wrote that nobody liked or even saw helped me to grow in the right way, as a mom and a wife and a Jewish woman?

I’ve been thinking about how, in Hashem’s eyes, that post that nobody saw but me might have been more pleasing, more important, more successful than the post that reached 10,000 people.

So this is what I’ve been doing. Since Shavuot. Every time I post something, I imagine one mother reading my post. Or watching my video. And being touched, and feeling at least a little more inspired that day.

And if I can focus on that one mom, on just you hearing my words and being touched by them, then I know that I have accomplished what I set out to do. Even if that one inspired JewishMOM is just me.

Have a great week!

15 comments

  1. L’havdil, this is similar to what Mr. Rogers said about his show, that when he would look into the camera he would imagine that he was speaking to one child.

  2. What an important focus when interacting with others, or even being more mindful/present in our daily activities, so we are enjoying the quality of our relationships and activities, to be really living… yishar koach!
    This reminds me of Aaron Razel’s new song about The Holy Hunchback – the most important thing in the world is to do a kindness for another…

  3. denisse michalowitz

    Bs”d
    Thank.you for r your inspiration and honesty. I hope it will help you to know that after a long day being busy thank G-d with the house and the kids, and when I feel the need to recharge my energies, I come to this site..and I feel pampered you say? , loved, inspired and more.:)

  4. In this world we have no idea how to measure the worth of our deeds. We have to learn from what Hashem does. Just like nothing is too big for Him to handle,there is nothing to small for Him to deal with personally. Sometimes what we may perceive as the smallest of deeds is the one that makes the biggest impact above.

  5. how inspiring! I’m that mother =)

  6. That’s is what makes the other person especially when it’s a child feel that at that moment nothing else is more important than them. It is so distressing to see adults who should be interacting with a child focused on a cell phone…

  7. Oh that made me so happy:)

  8. The challenges of a woman are many when she courageously forges ahead to protect herself and her precious children.

  9. Chana Jenny, thank you loads for this powerful reminder, the power of touching one person! Each person is one whole world, and will Bezrat Hashem go on to affect another person positively, and you can never tell where your inspiration ends. The power of the ripple effect. It’s never just one person! What s beautiful insight thanks for sharing!!❤️

  10. Thank you, from one inspired great-grandmom

    • JewishMom

      thanks debbie, great to hear from you! I miss seeing you at the gym:)

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