An Amazing Birth Story by Sarah Zadok

I’ve read a lot of birth stories, and this is my very favorite. Enjoy!

My Birth by Sarah Zadok

This is my story…
It’s 3 am. I’m drifting somewhere in between sleep and awake…I’m curled up under soft down, lying peacefully beside my husband. My belly is big and ripe and my mind is empty… tranquil even. My body is loose and easy, I am totally relaxed. “POP!” An internal balloon pops inside of me, and a tiny stream of fresh, warm water begins to trickle from my insides. Ahhh, labor has begun… my baby is coming to me.

I put on my moccasins and waddle to the bathroom and as I do, a contraction rushes through my body with the power of a tidal wave. I lean into the wall for support, breath deep and give in. My body is still loose; I am empty, open, ready. I let the contraction work it’s magic. I surrender.

The rushes continue, they intensify, they crowd my being, – I welcome them. I am transforming… I am a daisy in the wind – innocent and vulnerable. I am a tigress –formidable and powerful, I am a hurricane – wild and raging, I am flame, purposeful and illuminating. I am a woman “W-O-M-A-N.”

My husband gives me space to be all that I am. He knows this is a world to which he cannot attach, awed by the force of it all, he prays silently in the corner. He knows what I need. I don’t hear his words; only feel their honesty and intensity. I sense he means whatever it is that he is saying, and that feels good. I feel safe with him nearby, his prayer: a protection and a shield.

My midwife wordlessly rubs scented oils down my back. The sweet smell of lavender, clarie sage, rose and jasmine rise all around me. Her touch is ecstasy.

I have made a communion with my body and my soul. They are functioning as one whole. Every movement I make and sound I emit comes from a place so deep and innate, so primal, I know I have crossed worlds. I am very present, but I am not “here.” I am in “labor land.” Time does not exist where I am, fear is not welcome. I sweat, I groan, I rest, I squat, I smile.

I feel G-d cradling me in His mighty Arms, He rocks me back and forth to the rhythm of this birth. “This is what your body was created to do.” He whispers. “Okay” I answer, “Okay.” He is my metronome, I sway to His beat. There is nothing else. I am supported, I am powerful, I am beautiful, I am humbled… I am ready.

My body opens like a rose unfolding to the day’s first light and my sweet baby girl descends from her Eden inside and into the garden of this world below. She brings with her a piece of the World to Come. She is covered in its dew, pink with its secrets, and ripe with beginning. She is a part of me, of him and of Him. She is the connection to all that came before us, and all that lies ahead.

I am higher than I have ever been. She has eyes and a mouth, little pink fingers and legs that kick. She is so real. I am drunk with her beauty. A new soul was born from inside of me. Cast from our union, shaped by love and prayer, molded by hope and faith. My baby girl looks at me. She sees me. Eyes wide open to the wonder of it all. There is nothing else than this moment.

She is born, and so I am.

Reprinted with permission from the author.

Sarah Zadok is a Jewish educator, lecturer, and writer. She is a fan of good music, good wine and Ba’al Shem Tov stories in no particular order.

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