Gimme Candy, Candy, Candy by Chaya Cohen

Gimme Candy, Candy, Candy by Chaya Cohen

I was trying to put my 4-year-old son Avi to sleep.

And he was trying to jump around and do anything but sit with me on his bed.

“Avi”, I ventured, “Come here so that I can give you a kiss. When I kiss you, can you tell that I love you?”

“No!” He wasn’t coming closer for a kiss.

“So how can you tell that I love you? When I get angry at you?” I was trying to be the devil’s advocate.

“No!” Same reply.

Then Avi got creative.

“I know that you love me when you give me candy!”

“Really? And what if the candy makes holes in your teeth and then you need to go to the dentist?” His last filling was barely 2 weeks before.

“It doesn’t. But even if it does, I know that you love me when you give me candy. Only when you give me candy!”

And no. I didn’t give him candy to show him that I love him. I made him go to bed once and for all.

But I thought about how often we do this in our lives.

“Hashem, I need money for ____!”
“I need to make this bus!”
“I need this guy to be interested in me!”
“I need my son to do well in school!”
“My daughter is so shy! Please make her more outgoing!”
“My daughter is so wild! Please make her calm down!”
“I want to get pregnant this month!”
“I can’t have this fighting all day long….Please, Hashem, finally send me some peace and quiet!”
“This can’t be the flu coming on! I need to feel good for the busy week I have ahead of me.”

We are sure that we know what shows us that Hashem loves us. We present our wishes as a prayer: please give us what we need!

And we are certain that we KNOW what we need. The money. The smooth schedule. The well adjusted children. The calm peaceful home atmosphere. The strong healthy body.

But maybe Hashem knows what is really good for us? He can tell when our requests for “candy” will really cause inner decay… He knows when we need to stretch ourselves in order to fix something, rather than relaxing in our comfort zone.

We tell Hashem: “Please, since You really love us, make everything go well…and easy!”

But that may not be the real way that Hashem shows that He loves us.

The ultimate way Hashem shows us that He loves us is by doing what is for our ultimate good.

That is sometimes a kiss, sometimes a scolding, and sometimes candy.

If you liked this article, you are going to love this slideshow entitled “Life Doesn’t Get any Better than This”

Image courtesy of user Moyan Brenn


  1. Bracha Goetz

    Wonderful, B’H!

  2. Thank you so much for that article. Great analogy.

Leave a Reply

Follow by Email