The Nasty Neighbor (12-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

The Nasty Neighbor (12-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

My nasty neighbor was driving me so crazy until I learned why she was driving me so crazy. How to cope with a challenging experience that re-triggers a childhood trauma.



  1. thank you!!! this is what I needed today, I recently made alya and Im having so many, many situations with neighbours, doctors… that make me overeact like in my heart, today I asked my husband, what is wrong with me that im so sensitive about how the doctor received me or how the owner of the house took my hagala outside…I will think about it and Ill look at my ring and kid BH!

  2. Amazing!! Thank you so much for this!

  3. thank you again chana jenny for the great talk you have shared with us. you give so much streghnth to so many women all over the world!(I know this isn’t the point of the talk, but I’m guessing the woman sees all your strong points and feels bad about herself, so she lashes out to feel higher.) may we see only the good in other pple .

  4. Dear Chana Jenny,
    I have a problem that’s a little different from yours. My neighbor is nice and friendly, not nasty, but she is terribly nosy. And jealous. She asks invasive questions and resents my job, my talents- even though she has her own, but she keeps obsessing about mine. She makes me feel like I just want to close myself up. I can’t stand her nosiness, I fear her jealousy, I hate her lack of boundaries. She asks me how well my kids do in school, how much money I earn (much less than she does, bur she imagines otherwise. ) She even resents the fact that I help out at a certain chessed organization, it makes her feel inferior. Why doesnt she also participate if she wants to? If you or any of your wise readers have any advice for me, I would greatly appreicate it. I would love to just keep away from her, but she’s always THERE! Thanks for listening

  5. I always love your talks. I just wanted to say thank you because of you I helped my daughter. Yesterday we were both listening to your talk. She is 8 and didn’t get it all but understood the part of you saying someone was bullying you. Today she finally confessed that she has been bullied at school for the past 2 weeks which explains all her behaviors lately. I really think you talking about it helped her say it too. Thanks to you we are dealing with it before it gets out of hand 🙂

  6. Beautiful – thanks so much. I never knew that we had those ‘points’ that Rabbi Nivin teaches about. Such a helpful idea.

    There;s actually a whole therapy technique built around this (lookng at your wedding ring etc) for trauma – it’s called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. (it was discovered by an Israeli 🙂 ) It keeps the frontal cortex active in order to keep the person who’s discussing their trauma stay in the present and not lose themselves in the past.

    Kol tuv!

  7. Yoni Schlussel

    Wonderful pep talk! Yaasher koach!

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