You Won’t Believe how this Man Broke His Phone
Today, I was second in line at the cellphone store. Number 1 was a tall man wearing a kippah who was having a back-and-forth with the salesman.
“So what are my options?”
“You can buy a new screen or you can buy a new phone.”
“What? I need to buy a new screen?!”
“Yes, it’s completely cracked.”
“I can’t believe it. I just lost my temper and…” instead of words he reenacted how he had thrown his phone down in fury,”and now I have to buy a whole new screen. How much will that cost?”
“450 NIS,” around $115.
I was extremely curious, but I didn’t have the nerve to ask the man exactly what had made him so angry. Had he been angry at his phone, because it wasn’t working well? At his wife? At his child? At his boss?
What was wrong with this man? What kind of grown man, a religious man no less, loses it like that when he gets angry? Was he some kind of maniac?
But then I thought of all the times I have lost my temper with my kids.
And I thought how $115 is small change compared to the harm an angry, out-of-control mother can do to her child.
Truth is, as my kids and I have grown, and I’ve learned how to take care of myself better and get more help when I need it, that kind of out-of-control anger flashes up pretty rarely.
But the man ahead of me in line reminded me how that kind of anger for human beings and mothers is an ongoing battle. And that it is one which you and I and all of us should continue fighting.
I’ve been working so hard on controlling my anger over the last few months with a decent amount of success overall, and last night I lost control with one of my kids and I felt SO awful and so down on myself. Thank you for reminding me that this is a struggle many of us Jewish moms have, even very loving, “normal”, non-maniac type mothers who want nothing more than to give their children their very best, knowing how harmful anger can be, like you said. I really struggle to get the help I need – I barely ever have any due to my current life circumstances and I want that to change. Working on it. In the meantime, thanks for the chizuk and the hope that my outburst of anger can one day be rare occurrences at most.
Very powerful.
How do you manage to know exactly what I needed to hear? Thank you.
And good to have the site back after the technical glitch. Definitely missed my Jewish.com infusion.
See Rabbi Wolbe in Alei Shur where he talks about anger and how to combat it. I have been using his method and it works wonders. The key is to take very small steps so you dont trigger the alarm of the yeter hara. I started by taking a 15min a day, a tough time, in which my alarm goes off and I tell myself for that 15min I wont get angry. BH i have been doing this for over a month and I have seen great changes. I chart my progress daily and then reward myself after I have gotten to a certain number of days.
wow, nechama. thank you. You are truly an inspiration!
I am a huge fan of Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer”. He constantly says that anger and frustration are the weakest forms of energy. When you are angry, dogs (and kids, spouses, and bosses) feel your weakness. When you are calm, you are automatically dominant in the dynamic, and therefore at your highest point of power and control. Being in a balanced and centered state is the ideal of all of G-d’s creatures.
Search his videos on YouTube, he’s amazing!
interesting, thanks!