Things You Should Never Say to Yourself

Things You Should Never Say to Yourself

The following simple yet ingenious advice appears in Laura Doyle’s book Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand. Words I hope one day to live by!

“Today my rule is not to say anything to myself–even silently–that I wouldn’t say to a friend.

“It sounds simple, but the implications of that rule are much greater than I first realized.

“For instance, since I would never say to a girlfriend, ‘I just hate your skin!’ I won’t say it to myself either.

“I wouldn’t tell her that her house is a disaster, that she didn’t work hard enough, or that she shouldn’t have eaten so much, so I won’t say such critical things to myself anymore either…

“By saving yourself from harsh words, you are protecting your self-esteem and confidence. In short, you are making a commitment to yourself that you are going to feel good and not put yourself in the dumps.”


  1. This is absolutely one of the BEST pieces of advice I have ever heard.
    I am going to try and do it also!

  2. Great advice. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Brilliant! Thank you

  4. Wow, precious advice! Look forward to trying it tomm morning! (in bed now😉). Thanks Chana Jenny!

  5. Thanks! I love this!

  6. i have a friend who often puts herself down and i tell her i will not let anyone speak like that of my friend! the tora tells us to love our neighbour as ourselves, which only works if we love ourselves, so the basis of keeping this commandment is to love ourselves. there is also a story of the chafetz haim and saying bad things about yourself being considered lashon hara.

  7. Easier said than done, but very good advice nevertheless.

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