The Jewish Mother Olympics

The Jewish Mother Olympics
On the way to Yaakov and Yoni’s gans this morning,  I saw my neighbor pushing an infant and a toddler in a single stroller with one hand, while pushing her bike with the other.
Then I saw another neighbor dropping off 4 kids ages 7 and under, before she sped off in her minivan, to punch the clock by 8:30.
And on my way home I saw another neighbor, in her second trimester, carrying a 2-year-old on her back,  her 4 older kids pattering right behind her,  JewishMOM Make Way for Ducklings.

Which got me wondering, if there was a Jewish Mother Olympics, which competitions would there be?

Here’s a few ideas I had:

The Kids in Stroller Competition–How many kids can a mother fit into a single stroller? Extra points granted for carrying additional children on her body.

The Long Afternoon Competition–How many hours can a mother spend inside her house with her kids without raising her voice? Extra points granted when it gets dark before 6 PM.

The Benching with Kavana Competition–How many words of the prayer after meals can a mother read with focus while surrounded by her children. Extra points granted if her child is blasting his favorite CD, demanding a bowl of cornflakes, or having a tantrum.

The real difference, though, between the JewishMOM Olympics and the regular Winter/Summer kid is that in our Olympics, every JewishMOM wins the gold every single day.










  1. Beautiful post which also points out to the fact that am israel hai, jewish mom here in eretz israel have much strength to raise many children and large families in a simple and midest way!

  2. Sarah Frøseth

    That’s hilarious!

  3. This sentence takes the cake “Extra points granted when it gets dark before 6 PM.”

    How about, how many hours can she hold off going to the bathroom while attending to everyone else’s “urgent” needs?

  4. Love it!
    Cutting up vegetables while mixing the soup while feeding the toddler while nursing the baby while talking on the phone to the doctor about her kid who’s throwing up in the bathroom! Extra points for not pulling her hair out!

  5. No wonder’s logo has a woman with so many hands…

  6. multi-tasking competition
    three day yom tov -cooking, baking, preparing clothes marathon
    Pesach preparation while pregnant/nursing and having a bar mitzvah/wedding/bas mitzvah to plan as well.
    Only simchot! great column!

  7. Or frying cutlets while nursing baby. I know it’s crazy, but baby wouldn’t stop screaming, so I put her in the carry on and sorta nursed her while making dinner. DO NOT try this! It is 100 percent irresponsible! But I feel it would qualify for the mommy Olympics 😉

  8. B”H There should also be an event in which mothers successfully occupy/entertain young children during Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av while they are fasting and attempting to daven at least a little bit, without losing their tempers. Extra points if the climate is particularly hot.

  9. The “benching with Kavana” competition – my favorite!

  10. Least amount of hours of sleep while still able to use dangerous machinery, like driving a car or cooking.

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