A Letter to God the Day After Simchat Torah

Dear Hashem,
During the past month I blew a ram’s horn

ate a fish head

swung a chicken around my head

dressed in a suit
and sneakers


then wore a white robe

prayed and fasted for 25 hours

built a tent with a bamboo ceiling

and then ate all my meals in it
(sometimes in the rain)


I spent 3 consecutive days with my in-laws

and 3 more with my parents

walked around with a palm branch and a citrus fruit

whipped willow branches on the floor

ate roughly 8 lbs of meat

2 lbs of chopped fish

and 3 gallons of soup with noodles and/or Matzo balls

used 7 vacation days without leaving my neighborhood

and spent almost as much time in shul
as I did in my office


All I ask of You is: Please let me and my loved ones repeat this process for many years to come

very cute!