A Wise Mother’s Response to My Compliment

A Wise Mother’s Response to My Compliment

Earlier today, I complimented the mother of a large family on the fact that she and her husband had succeeded in raising such a remarkable adult son.

The mother responded, “It’s not that we succeeded in raising him, it’s that we succeeded in not holding him back from growing up into the person he is.😉”
As a mother, I sometimes yearn to fit my children into the cookie cutter of my choosing. Be this. Do this. So that you can become the person I want you to be.
But this wise mother’s response reminded me: “First, do no harm.” Sometimes the best, most loving thing I can do for my children is step aside and just let them be who they already are.


  1. I am starting to feel (3 children down the line so PG still long way to go) that so far this is the best piece of advice I have received as a parent. Don’t think you make your children, Hashem gives you children who are certain way and your job is to nurture them and help them be the best they can be from that place.

  2. Bracha Haskel

    I really think that we don’t teach our kids, rather that they teach us!
    They help us reveal hidden strengths that might have gone unnoticed, like unlimited ability to be patient, etc. (Who would have imagined!)
    We need to reveal who our children are already, what attributes Hashem gave them.
    Together with the awareness to step aside and do no harm is awesome!!
    As a mother of 7 adult children, I’d also like to mention the amazing stage when we merit to see our children become parents, and realize how much they take from us into their own parenting style.

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