A Hard Few Days
This past Friday, the nephew of my dear next-door neighbor, Hillel Eliyahu Ovadia, was killed in the war.
And so was the grandson of my daughter’s guidance counselor.
And another neighbor’s husband (Guy ben Chana) seriously injured in Lebanon, is fighting for his life.
I am exhausted. Partially because I was at the funeral of my neighbor’s 22-year-old nephew at Mt. Herzl and didn’t make it home last night until 2:30 AM.
But what I’m feeling is deeper than tiredness. It’s deeper than even bone tiredness.
I recently learned that the final morning blessing: “Blessed are You, our Lord…HaNoten l’Yaef Koach,” does not mean (as I’d mistakenly thought) “Who gives strength to the tired.” Since the word used in the blessing is Yaef rather than Ayef, the blessing actually means, “Blessed are You…Who gives strength to the weary.”
As Reb. Shira Smiles explains in her wonderful new book Arise and Aspire:
“Ya’ef implies weariness, feeling drained, depleted.
“Here it is a description of our collective, national reality.
“Our Sages foresaw that [Jewish history] would be a long and arduous ordeal and therefore instituted this blessing to inspire the courage to withstand its trials.
“As a nation we have been exploited and oppressed by the descendants of Yishmael and Eisav.
“This blessing is a recognition that Hashem empowers us daily with the tenacity to withstand the difficulties we face as individuals and as a nation.
“It teaches us that instead of sighing “Ein li Koach–I have no strength” say out loud, “Hashem, tein li koach–Hashem, give me strength!”
Hashem please, tein koach to our brave soldiers.
And to their struggling wives and children who’ve had such a long year.
And to the hostages fighting to survive under inhuman conditions.
And to the grieving families of all the soldiers who’ve been killed.
And to the heartbroken little girl who wept loudly last night over the grave of her beloved brother, Hillel Eliyahu. The tsaddik. The talmid chacham. The soldier who was so proud, so happy to be defending his people and their homeland (in his eulogy, his rabbi said that Hillel was so happy to serve, he manifested the connection between Tsahal and Tsahala–the IDF and joy.) The devoted older brother and son, torn away from his family so young.
And please, Hashem, tein koach to those of us who are taking our first steps into our second year of war, and are so weary. Hashem, tein koach. Please.