“National Geographic” Spoof on Shabbat [3-Minute Funny Video]
I really enjoyed this! Thanks so much to Jerusalem JewishMOM Hadas Melmed for sending this my way! [Transcription/translation below]
Narrator: Givat Shmuel, a heavily populated concrete jungle located in the heart of Gush Dan. A National Geographic camera crew is observing a typical pack of the wild “Dati” [Orthodox] tribe. It’s 5 o’clock on a Friday afternoon and the pack is preparing for its weekly gathering. The Sha–bat ceremony. The alpha male howls, apparently in order to signal that the time of the gathering is near.
Father to children: Tell me, are you normal?! Shabbat’s in one hour! Go take showers, you and your spacey brother!
Father to wife: Nechama, do me a favor, boil the water already. Come on!
Narrator: The female, Necha–Ma, defends the family nest by marking her territory [close-up on her sponja mop].
Mother: Nobody enters the hall now, I just washed the floor!
Narrator: It’s 8:30, and the pack gathers for the ceremony. Our crew must remain silent to hear the alpha male’s deep gutteral sounds aimed to prepare the pack for the upcoming meal.
[Father uses hand motions and sounds to request that somebody bring salt to the table for the challah]
Narrator: What’s that noise? Near the dati tribe lives a pack from a different tribe, the Chilonim [secular Jews]. This pack is also fascinating. Even though it’s a completely different pack, it also celebrates the Sha–bat ceremony.
Father:Shabbat shalom, family.
Daughter: [Making video with her phone] My mommy and daddy at the Shabbat table.
Father: Also film the kiddush cup!
Narrator: It’s 7 in the morning and the secular pack seeks grazing land to expand it’s territory. This is a demanding process requiring the pack’s approval.
[Mother suggests distant destinations around Israel for a family hike]
Mother: So, Chatzbani?
Mother: Ramon Crater?
Mother: OK, Nachal Amud?
Father: Honey, why don’t we just get out a movie?
Narrator: Much like the dati tribe, the female of the chiloni tribe clearly has the final say [mother leads family out to go to the hike]
Narrator: Suddenly, an astonishing thing happens. The Dati pack encounters the Chiloni pack. Each pack is fascinated by the other, and approaches it with its own dialect.
Religious mother: Shabbat Shalom. What do you say? Maybe we could sit together to eat one Shabbat in the evening.
Secular mother: You mean a meal on Saturday night?
Religious father: No, Erev Shabbat, on Friday at night.
Secular father: You mean a Friday-night dinner?
Religious mother and father: No, a Shabbat meal.
Religious father: Never mind…why don’t you come now?
Secular mother: With pleasure!
Religious father: Great! We live on the 13th floor.
Religious mother: Moti! The Shabbat elevator!
Religious father: The elevator! Run! Run! Come!
Narrator: These tribes share the same origin. And there’s more to bring them together than to set them apart.
Secular mother: What’s a Shabbat elevator?
[Both families crowd into small elevator]
Religious father: Only seven more flights to go!
Narrator: Our head researcher, Abba Kookoo, finds that they can even spend the Shabbat ceremony together.
[Around Shabbat table, religious father indicates for somebody to bring the salt for the Challah. Secular son starts drinking from the handwashing cup]
Secular mother: Yoni! What are you doing?! You don’t drink from that!
Religious father: It’s forbidden to talk right now…[they all start talking with hand motions and sounds]
Narrator: Nature is unpredictable and so are the animals trying to survive in it. It seems however that with tolerance and good will, the delicate balance of the circle of life is preserved.
This video is an advertisement for “Israeli shabbat” (Parshat Chayei Sara, October 25th) when religious families around Israel invite secular families to join them for a Shabbat meal.