Maayan’s Bat Mitzvah! (9-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Maayan’s Bat Mitzvah! (9-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Reflections on my daughter’s wonderful bat mitzvah this past Sunday, and some thoughts on recovering from the big event.


  1. Mazel Tov on Maayan’s simcha!

    I grew up with 4 brothers and 1 sister. My memory is that we had Bar Mitzvahs, but not much of a Bat mitzvah. I don’t think anyone in my community really had a bat mitzvah. It’s interesting to hear the different customs all around. It sounds like your community has a bat mitzvah, similar to what my brothers’ bar mitzvahs were like.

    Also, I’m a bit confused with the empty gas tank thing. I know the feeling, A LOT, but if I stopped and took care of it, like sat and read a book or some blogs, or took a nap — I feel worse! I feel like I just missed out on all the time I had to get housework done and it makes me feel so much worse afterwards!
    Maybe it’s different when you have older children and you have the time to catch up with “The List” whenever you want to — but with me, I only have about an hour in the middle of the day and then an hour at night to get things in order. If I stopped to fill my very empty gas tank, then my house and mindset would be even worse than it is already! Does this strategy not work when you only have lots of young children?

    • a woman will eventually have nothing to give if she doesn’t refill her gas tank once in a while. it’s all about shifting our priorities. when i had many young children and no one old enough to help, i discovered that burnout was inevitable. i became cranky, irritable, and not very loving. a wise older woman advised me to arrange some “me” time. she said that i had to stop thinking that the dishes, laundry, and mess were more important than me. she told me to schedule 5-10 minute “coffee breaks” into my day. so, some days i just lay on the couch for 10 minutes listening to music while the kids played. i took up sewing again, which i arranged to do in the evenings after the kids were in bed. i found that sewing for 15 minute spurts let me finish a garment in a week or two. i picked up crocheting and knitting, and those worked well for my “coffee breaks”. the point was not the finished product. the point was the “me” time. with 10 minutes of “me” time, i had more energy so i could finish the housework faster. you are the one who is making you feel bad that the housework isn’t being done. so you have the power to change the “rules”. Hashem loves you whether or not your house is perfectly clean. You are worthy of His love, just by “being”. Fill your gas tank, do it in little bits. eventually you will have more time as the kids get older, and you will already be in the habit of replenishing your soul.

  2. mazel tov! lots of nachas!

  3. Mazal tov! Haven’t had a chance to listen to this yet, but was wondering where you had disappeared to and delighted that it was for a simcha! May Maayan and all your lovely children continue to bring you and your husband great nachas.

    • JewishMom

      hope to get back to the blog next week, almost done the important things i pushed off until “after the bat mitzvah.”

  4. I feel the same way after yom tov. Thank you so much for this pep talk, and mazel tov!!

  5. Mazal tov and always plenty of nahas from your wonderful family! And thank you for this blog…

  6. Is it sad, I feel this way every sunday morning!!? every sunday morning I take like an hour just to chill. I can’t start the week unless I give myself that break of “transitioning” of kids being home making things crazy ( and fun but crazy) back to normal week of everyone in their routines

  7. Hi Chana Jenny,

    I loved this. This is one of those keepers that some people (I) need to listen to every week:)

    Mazal Tov, tons of nachas!
    Love Ahavya

  8. Thank you for this. Mazel tov.
    My question is this. What if you’ve got a lot going on in your life on a continual basis and there doesn’t seem to be an ‘after the event’ to recharge? How, with young children and limited funds, can a woman do that recharge? What i wouldn’t give for a day where I could just catch up on sleep but there are too many other things to do. If I had that time, it wouldn’t be spent on me.

    • Hadassah

      That is the whole point. We need to be a little selfish to take care of ourselves so that we can continue to take care of everyone and everything that depends on us. (not everyday-all day) but a little here, there, and bigger chunks when necessary. We also get hungry and cranky, but everyone needs us to be smiling and up beat.

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