Where is My Spiritual Community? (9-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Where is My Spiritual Community? (9-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Your true community is probably not where you actually live.


  1. So true. Thank you! Happy Birthday.

    • Happy Birthday! This pep talk is so important for me!!!! I have been feeling very isolated where I live (for 20 plus years) as well as spiritually sort of stifled.

      Your pep talk gave me the idea that I need to reach out to all the available options of joining a spiritual community that isn’t necessarily in the geographical area where I live.

      Thanks for Jewish Mom! I love being part of the community!


  2. Dear Chana Jenny,

    mazel tov for your birthday. I’m a year older than you and mine is on 14 Tevet. I’m a not so recent Baalat Theshuva from former Soviet Union.
    I read your blog for a few months already and am really grateful you are there for us. Interestingly enough, week by week you seem to be answering these very question which I struggle with myself. I also took part in Chaya Hinda Allen’s Jewish Positive Thinking program following your recommendation and am really happy I did. Just for that you deserve the biggest Thank You in the world. Chaya Hinda stays my spiritual mentor long after the program ended – you did such a great thing telling us about her and her course.

    Have a lot of nachat from your children and a healthy, productive,safe year.

  3. This is such an interesting way of looking at it. We have struggled to find a Rav in the area that we live in who we feels understands us, and your peptalk perhaps validates that it is ok if you need to look further afield for that spiritual connection and guidance. Just because someone is the Rav of your local shul doesn’t mean they are necessarily the right person for you to connect with.
    This is the brilliant thing about technology.
    Happy birthday! May you have a wonderful year ahead, full of only good things.

  4. All good wishes on your birthday! I remember Rabbi Nivin talking about this and I’m grateful to be reminded of it…I need to hold on to that.

  5. I needed to hear this today too. Having recently moved around the same time you did, I also struggle to find my niche here. There was a get-together yesterday for a kallah and I canceled at the last minute. I’m getting tired of being the awkward one standing not knowing anyone and my energy level is not up to standing at another event where everyone knows everyone from way back. But I am fine with it in a way – I have my friends from my old community and I know they are there for me when I need them. And I have you guys:) Thank you Chana Jenny for being there for me for way longer than I had most of my friends!

  6. Thank you for sharing this! It was so helpful and enlightening. My husband and I are both BTs. I became BT when I lived in Queens, a very small, out-of-townish, close-knit community. After we married, I moved to Passaic. It isn’t so small, but it is close-knit, friendly, out-of-town mentality, and just a perfect place for BTs and people looking for unconditional love and open-mindedness. Through a whole series of events too complex to explain here, we moved to Monsey about 7 years ago. First, we lived in Wesley Hills for a year, and then in 2010 we bought our house in the Forshay section. I’m starting now to find my niche, but it’s been difficult. I clicked with people of all backgrounds so easily in Queens and Passaic, but find it very difficult to click with people in Monsey.As most people will agree, it’s just a different mentality and different way of life than in small, out-of-town communities. We have a purpose here Hashem has planned for us, though we aren’t sure what it is, but we definitely miss our small-town communities. Your peptalk really helped me feel better about a concept I’ve struggled with for years–your geographic community may be where Hashem needs you to be for now or where He sent you through various circumstances for a purpose, for now, but it isn’t necessarily your spiritual community. Members of my spiritual community are split between Queens, Passaic, soon to be in Rabbi Nivin’s Chabura (I plan to join IYH in January) and of course, in jewishmom.com. Thanks again!

  7. Oh, and I forgot to say Happy Birthday! May it be meaningful and may you achieve the personal growth and goals you aspire to in the year to come!

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