Why I Need to Work on Myself Non-Stop (14-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

Why I Need to Work on Myself Non-Stop (14-Minute Mommy Peptalk)

A personal story which showed me (yet again) how true personal growth requires constant effort.


  1. Just now right in the middle of Henny’s book. Her life was so full . . . never a break from the routine . . . and I wonder how much thought and time she actually put into working on herself? As she poured out her life for others, her true value and beauty was exposed.

    • you will see later in the book that she invested very very much in working on herself. She wasn’t just born this great, she working on her self constantly. Look at pages 373-442

  2. Thanks, Chana Jenny. – I am presently being pickled, will let you know when I come up for air.

  3. Thanks so much. You mentioned a couple times previously about the little voice that tells you (us, definitely me) that we didn’t achieve the things we wanted to achieve in our life in terms of working out of the home, the slight feeling of inadequacy compared to those women who raise families but are also accomplishing outside of the home. I know that if I have little kids at home, unless there is a dire need for me to work, I just can’t possibly work outside the home. There is so much to do physically to care for these little people, that it would totally drain all the life out of me if I also needed to work outside the home. But if my youngest was a teenager, I might feel the desire to work outside the home. Maybe you would also.

  4. Your video gave me a lot of food for thought. I am on the other side. As a child/young adult, I was sure that I would be a stay at home mom, like my mother. (I also wanted to be an author – something you have done too!) My mother used to say that she pictured me grown up washing a big sink of dishes, with a brood of children (and chickens!) around my feet, with a huge smile on my face.

    In reality, b”H I was blessed with a large family, and am a professor of one of the sciences at one of the universities. Not what I expected!!

    When listening to your video, I was trying to think how I would feel if I was at the meeting you described, and sitting next to you. Would I be feeling inadequacy that I was not able to be home with my kids? Guilt plagued me for years over leaving babies/toddlers crying in the morning at their gan.

    I came to the conclusion that I would not be feeling bad – and for a similar reason, you shouldn’t either. The place I am at in my life is so unexpected, and the journey to get to where I am was so full of hashgacha pratit, that it is impossible to ignore that I am where I am because that is exactly where Hashem wants me to be. (Of course, that is always true, but sometime you can just see it so clearly.) So, how can I feel bad about where I am, if this is what Hashem wants from me?

    It seems to me that the same is just so glaringly clear for you to. Given your childhood, and your expectations of how you envisioned yourself as an adult, was it within the realm of imagination (or even possibility) that you would be living in Israel, with a large family, as a stay at home mom, and be spreading the light of torah and encouragement to Jewish moms all over the world?! Since it is so clearly yad Hashem that you are where you are, doing what you are doing, how can feelings of inadequacy even make sense?

    I love your site! Thank you for being a constant inspiration to us all!!!

    • thank you mrs. anonymous. The really striking thing about “mrs. senior position in high tech” was just how incredibly at peace she seemed to be about her life decisions. This is a great and empowering way to think of these life decisions, to see Yad Hashem in them.

  5. I think that our times are completely crazy and upside down that give so much value to work and money over family life and also:it even reaches religious society which values women who achieve career even religious career as we see now the nominatio of women halachic cousellor;this reinforces our bad self esteem when we “only”take care of our children and home and husbands.our husbands also need us as women not as rabbis or powerful mates dont you think so? Its sad to see how in the religious world also praises the new echet hayil which is the one who earns money and accomplishes things outside tge home;i think this is sign of geula tgat values are upside down

  6. Also i tnink i understand why you felt so down after that:because nobody looked at you as a model you were the miskena!whereas we jewish moms praise your work as a jewish mom who made a choice and stuck to it for so many years!you are a role model but unfortunately our foolish society and our foolish schools and leaders dont see that!they dont see that kids need us when they come back home,that they need a calm mother,that even when they are teenagers maybe even more tgey need someone to talk to,and takes a lot of time and energy;

  7. Yes of course!you are courageous!!

  8. Motherhood

    by Bracha Goetz

    The most valuable work,
    Gets the lowest pay,
    In this topsy-turvy world,
    Receiving next to nothing,
    For all you do?
    Someday all will wish,
    They were as rich,
    As you.

    (Author of 32 books to help children’s souls shine: http://www.amazon.com/author/spiritualkidsbooks-brachagoetz)

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