I Don’t Feel Numb Today

I Don’t Feel Numb Today

Yesterday, out of the blue, I felt numb. Nothing felt so bad but nothing felt good either. Even things that usually bring me pleasure or happiness or content calm brought nothing. No reaction at all.

And then, this morning, I woke up, and when I walked bleary-eyed into the kitchen I noticed the tomatoes I bought yesterday. They were so red and shiny and round. And perfect! I just had to reach over and stroke a tomato’s skin. Wow, I thought, Hashem is the most awesome artist EVER.

And then I went out for a few hours of errands. At one point, I walked past a honeysuckle bush. And then, I remembered this morning’s tomatoes, and walked right back. I picked a honeysuckle, sucked out the drop of nectar, like when I was 7 years old on my way to the neighborhood swimming pool. What a sweet, free gift Hashem gave us, all over the place!

And then I saw a rosemary bush. And I picked a rosemary sliver and rubbed it between my fingers. My mouth watered as that smell reminded me of the lasagna I’m going to make for Shavuot-with spinach, mushroom, or maybe broccoli? And I thought about how I can post thoughts to share with you, my dear readers, or pictures, or videos, or songs. But there is NO WAY in the world to post a smell!

And then, around the corner from my home, I picked a jasmine flower and crushed it between my fingers and breathed in deep. Ahhh! My favorite smell in the world (or maybe 1st place goes the fragrance of fresh-baked bread?).

Why did Hashem create the world? The Ramchal explains that Hashem made the world and the human race because he wanted to do good. For me. For you. For all of us.

Yesterday, I knew that somewhere deep within my skull. Today, thank G-d, I lived it.


  1. Ahh, mechaye! I vicariously enjoyed through your descriptions ;). מה רבו
    מעשיך ה’!
    I’ll have to appreciate now that I can appreciate…that I feel pleasure from all my senses!

  2. Look at the contrast of the red tomatoes on the green vine

  3. You can’t post a taste either! Your post was more meaningful with the real photos included. Being able to instantly share pictures, words, and sounds is a great gift that we take for granted. It was not that long ago that having a phone that could show live video was a dream… Maybe I am getting old but I remember in the 1965 World’s Fair AT&T had a display of a telephone with a TV screen. It seemed science fiction and futuristic.

    If we remember to live in the moment and thank Hashem for everything we can be more mindful and calm. Thanks for your beautiful posts!

    • JewishMom

      right, you can’t post a taste either…wonder what will be in the future?

  4. I’m going outside to enjoy the aroma of my rosemary bush.

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