Check out My New Video Series: What I Know Today That I Wish I’d Known Back Then
I’ve been a mom for 23 years, what do I know today that I wish I’d known back then? Every week I’ll be posting a short video sharing my own hard-won wisdom in hopes that you’ll have an easier time than I did!
Thank you for your video. When my children were growing up, we simply did not have the financial resources to get outside help of any kind nor did we have any family living nearby. I did it all myself. Surely, this must be true today for may young Jewish moms. What do you suggest when there just is not the money for cleaning help, etc? How should young mothers cope in this situation?
Thank you.
I hear that. And I think that in those cases where a mom can’t afford paid help it’s even more important for her to find ways to make her life easier and spoil herself. For example, by buying challot and baked goods, trading off with her husband/an older child/a neighbor so she can go out and enjoy herself, lowering her standards etc. etc. It takes more creativity and determination. But I’ve definitely seen moms on very tight budgets who manage to invest in self-care on a regular basis.
My favorite was “a mom washed floor” LOL!!!!!
I also find that as I moved along life’s bumpy road, what I understood intellectually was proven practically in terms of how much we have to do and how much is Hashem’s direction. As things start to “work out”, and not be as bad or hard as we thought, we see how our hishtadlus is just that, trying. We are not doing. Any of it. So while being prudent in spending because there is no money is wise, it is also wise to realize that when you need something, Hashem provides. Even if it means using a cc without knowing exactly how you will pay for it at the end of the month, or borrowing from a friend without knowing how you will repay, you are making your statement that your mental health requires an hour of the babysitter for your children, or an hour or 2 of household help, or your spouse/parent taking some hours off to help, and Hashem will provide. He has no shortage of ideas on how to give you what need. Hashem doesn’t always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we
need. Our job is to know the difference.
that’s a very smart approach, I think
Great advice! I loved seeing your videos again and excited for more to come! When corona came along, we let our cleaning lady go and hired four of our kids age 13, 11,8 and 4 to clean and they have been doing it every week for almost 10 months. Two weeks ago, I hired another cleaning lady who wasn’t very good. I was kvetching to my sister about how she charged so much and didn’t even do a good job and my sister says well why don’t you hire your kids again!? I think I might
that’s a great idea
Chana Jenny, you’re the best:) thank you for your down to earth and manageable perspective!
This made me smile. I’m going to go to bed even though my kitchen is trashed, because I am exhausted!
Shh don’t tell the neighbors
way to go!
I have to agree with Malka. We do not and have not had extra cash (yay for teachers salary). I have found that when I pushed past my discomfort on the “waste of money” that is cleaning help, things worked out and somehow we made ends meet even though we did NOT know how we would finish the month. Now I have an easier time mentally. I know we have a third parent here BH, and He trusts us to do what needs to be done for our families, and we trust Him to foot the bill.