Sinat Chinam at Summer Camp…

Sinat Chinam at Summer Camp…

Shabbat Shalom!!


  1. So your friend wants to send her kids to this excellent charedi camp..
    It’s not about the color of the kippah here my dear..
    It’s not about those kids more pure than the others and this sarcastic undertone may well cause sinat chinam by the way..
    It’s about those families doing their outmost to keep their kids away from screens and negative influences and other families just choosing to be more lenient and open. I totally understand the concerns of the charedi parents not wanting to have their kids being exposed to kids who have access to whatsup/internet/television/movies/radio/non-kosher songs/magazines, newspapers/books.. I totally respect the charedim for doing their outmost to preserve their values and yes kedusha in this world of bilbulim – I think they need everyones support. Why put them in this uncomfortable position of turning someone away or accepting someone at the cost of loosing kids from their own community. It’s just about a different hashkafa, not about sinat chinam. It’s not a coincidence that the charedi camp is excellent, of course it is !! Why not look for an excellent camp within your own community with the hashkafa that you follow. Nothing to do with completing Shas, it’s the HASHKAFA ! Why badmouth the charedim, not enough what they go through?

    • I agree with this. Let everyone choose a school/camp that matches their hashkafah and lifestyle and not be offended just because of a different hashkafah.

  2. Mina Esther Gordon

    Rachel, I appreciate the need to protect children from bad influence, but I don’t think that teaching them to judge people by their head covering is the way to go about that. Had the camp administrator said that they were hesitant to accept a child who watches television or has access to unfiltered internet,
    it would be understandable, but to set the criteria by what kind of yarmulka the boy wears?? Yes, that smacks of Sinas Chinam. It is most important, not only for national unity but simply for our children’s SAFETY, that we teach them (and show them by example) to judge by a person’s actions, not their appearance. Someone can have a big black yarmulka and a beard down to his nees, yet be a very unsafe person for your child to associate with. The message that I try to give my children is that every person is created in the image of Hashem and therefore deserves respect. Trust, however has to be earned, and judged by what the person actually does. In the Amida prayer that we say every day, we ask Hashem Yisborach to bless us all as one, which strongly implies that Hashem will bless us when we are all unified.

  3. I have a friend, she and her husband are from Sfardic background, they became Chassidic send their children to Chassidic cheder.

    She faced some resistance from certain Cheders and (she thinks it was because of her Sfaric last name as they felt it will not benefit her children), She found a great Chassidic school where the administration accepted them happily.

    Her sons, who are now grown, blame her for the very difficult childhood caused by being in a Cheder that was not a match to their background. They were somewhat different than the rest of the boys, their grandparents are very different than that of how they were raise and it caused them to suffer psychologically a lot.

    While the mother wanted the best for her children, to give them the best chance at life and she did find great Chassidisha schools, it backfired for them.

    Children need to be in a place that fits them. For the most success in raising children with a strong and healthy self confidence one should look for a place that fits them. Their parents backgrounds and all should be taken into consideration when choosing what is right for a family instead of trying to fit into (or force schools to accept them) in a place that they don’t really fit.

    May Hashem bless us all with lots of success and nachat from all our children. May we merit the coming of Moshiach now.

    • I did not hear the original message but wanted to comment on this comment that I was sent to a very yeshivish Yiddish speaking school because my Baal teshuva parents thought speaking yiddish was cool.
      I am 40 now and do not fit in anywhere and don’t fit in to the mainstream at all. It may very personality but a lot has to do with that background. I never realized this until reading what you wrote here!

  4. i think being united means we have an obligation not to spread stories like this, i am so sorry because i love your site and views, but this feels like loshan hara against the rav and the parents (i do feel it has become about technology and tznius, not the type of kippah – are you sure those were his exact words that he kept repeating?). It’s just repeating a one-sided story which I am not sure is a good thing to do. (For your friend, it was toeles to tell you, because she was so rightfully upset. But for you to tell it over and spread it on the internet is not necessarily the right thing to do, I’m sorry, it’s just that you have a wonderful positive outlook and this isn’t what I am used to getting from your amazing site!)

  5. Implying that the charedim are judging who is more righteous based on the headcovering is judgmental in itself. We each choose for ourselves how we dress and with that we reflect the HASHKAFA we follow – NOT our righteousness. Our righteousness is left to HaShem alone to determine.

    I can love you and have deep Ahavat Israel without necessarily having to marry you and melt with you.

    Originally we were divided into 12 tribes and it might well be that when Moshiach arrives we will again have a division into 12 tribes. This does not prevent us from being unified and serving HaShem as ONE people in GLORY.

    I personally admire the mesirut nefesh, the chinuch, ahavat israel, ahavat hatorah, the boundaries and the sticking to halacha, tznius, being careful not to pain others, no instruments during bein hametzarim and much much more by the charedim – amazing !!

    • “I can love you and have deep Ahavat Israel without necessarily having to marry you and melt with you.”
      this is a great line! (and good musssar for me, thanks!)

  6. It’s not because they wear a particular type of kippa, it is because of the hashkafa behind that kippa and school. If that family chose to send to the school and dress in that way, it is because they themselves chose to identify with that hashkafa. They themselves understand that their “derech” (way) is different to chareidi children (as people have already mentioned, different attitudes toward media access etc.), otherwise they would have chosen to wear black kippot and go to a chareidi cheder.

    I think you should reconsider your whole title. No one hates anyone else in this case. It is sad that you are trying to suggest that they do.

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