The Successful Failed Shidduch

The Successful Failed Shidduch

I thought my daughter was going to marry the first boy she dated. But, after a few months of day-dreaming about the wedding and practicing saying his last name added to her first, they broke up.
I’ve heard it said that just like the person you marry is bashert, so too are the people you date along the way to meeting your spouse. And I understand that for various reasons this person was not meant for Hadas. But still, it was disappointing bordering on devastating when it didn’t work out. For Hadas as well as me.
This coming Shabbat we read the commandment to obliterate the rememberance of Amalek, who cruelly attacked the weakest of the Children of Israel when we were worn-out and exhausted in the desert. And what prompted this murderous attack? It was the words that the Children of Israel said in Refidim right before: “Is G-d among us or not?”
And that is actually a question I ask myself all the time. I believe in G-d. At least a lot of the time I do. But is he HERE? In my life and in my blahs and in my issues and in my kids who are turning out wonderful, but nothing like I expected. And in the dating life of my daughter who I thought was going to marry the first boy she dated, but didn’t.
But today, just today, I promise to not ask that question.
Because at this moment an engagement party is taking place for an adorable young couple, my daughter’s dear friend and that first boyfriend’s chavruta from yeshiva, whom they decided to set up.
You know how they say that every person you date on the way to find your spouse is bashert? Well, tonight I’m saying it too.

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