The Silence of My Daughters’ Teacher

The Silence of My Daughters’ Teacher

This morning I attended an event at my daughter’s school. Among the moms in attendance was a woman who taught my older daughters in elementary school, who was a formative figure in their young lives. In fact, looking back, I think this teacher had a bigger impact on my oldest daughter than any other teacher in her long (and ongoing) academic career.
Every time this teacher (now principal) and I run into each other she asks me with a big smile “מה שלום הבננות?” Loosely translated “What’s up with the gals?”
But this morning was different. I wished her a mazal tov on becoming a grandmother. Her oldest daughter, who is 20 years old, like my 3rd daughter, just became a mother.
Speaking with her, I felt truly happy for her and her daughter, who had been friends with my 20-year-old daughter when they were younger.
I literally got goosebumps when she told me the story behind her grandson’s name (Achiya, because this Biblical figure lived to see his great-great grandchildren, just as her grandson had two living great-great grandparents).
But I noted that my daughters’ former teacher, for the first time ever, didn’t ask me “מה שלום הבננות.”
Because while my daughters are exceptional and successful in many ways, and I am immensely proud of each one, I am not yet a grandmother. And it doesn’t look like I will be any time soon.
So while my friends are making weddings and babysitting for their grandchildren, I am working hard on having emuna and bitachon and davening and not comparing myself and my children with anybody else and anybody else’s children. Being content and satisfied with what is, and there is b”H so much to be content and satisfied with!
But my daughters’ teacher reminded me that sometimes it’s kind and sensitive to ask and inquire. And sometimes it’s kind and sensitive to not.


  1. What a special sensitivity the teacher has not to ask and that you have to understand her lack of speech.

  2. Deeply wise and loving!

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