My Daughter’s Miraculous Engagement Story by Reb. Shira Smiles

My Daughter’s Miraculous Engagement Story by Reb. Shira Smiles

[Over the last 2 years, like all of Reb. Shira Smiles’ students, I’ve been hearing about the dating ups and downs of her 2nd daughter, Chana. B”H, Chana got engaged right before Pesach. When I heard the amazing story behind the engagement Reb. Smiles’ shiur last week, I wanted to share it immediately with the whole world! Thanks to the Reb. Smiles and the entire Smiles’ family for allowing me to share.]
This year, Purim time, I remember noting to a few friends of mine, “It’s Purim, and I don’t have a single suggestion for my daughter.”
For various technical reasons, the 2 weeks from Rosh Chodesh Nissan until Pesach are actually the only 2 weeks Charedi boys in yeshiva are able to date. So it was looking like my daughter wouldn’t have a single date during the almost 3 months between Purim and Shavuot.
That Purim night, I was with both my daughters, Chana and her older married sister.
One of my girls said, “Why don’t we do the segula of “Rebbe Matya ben HaRash?” If you’ve never heard of this segula, join the club. I’d never heard of it either. But what you do is you light 18 candles, and you say: “In the merit of Rebbe Matya ben HaRash” (he was a Tanna, a chavruta of Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai) and then you say chapter 86 of Tehilim 18 times [see a full explanation here:]
So on Purim night we turned out the lights and pulled out a guitar and started doing the segula. My friend stopped by to give us a mishloach manot later that night and said, “Is there a séance going on here?!” I said, “Don’t ask…”
How it works is you do this whole segula and then you make one request and if it’s answered you commit to publicize the segula.
But I need to rewind for a moment…
For a long time, whenever my husband met anyone he would say, “I have a daughter in shidduchim, do you know anybody for her?”
My husband was at the Kotel on Zot Chanukah, and he saw a Rabbi giving a class at 3 AM. He asked , “Do you have a yeshiva?” “and the rabbi said, “Yes, it’s mostly American bachurim but I have a few Israelis.”
My husband said, “Great, I have a daughter in shidduchim. We are looking for an Israeli boy.”
The Rosh Yeshiva said that none of the Israeli boys were dating yet. My husband said he’d send a resume anyway. My husband liked this fellow and gave him 10 books of Tehilim that we had republished and they parted ways.
When Chana’le got engaged my husband said, “You know that rabbi I met at the Kotel on Zos Chanukah? He just called to wish me ‘Mazal tov.” I wonder how he knew?”
“What was that rabbi’s name?” I asked.
It turned out that the Rabbi from Zos Chanukah was the rebbe of Chana’s chassan, Yehoshua. He was the reference I’d called for him. In fact, Yehoshua had received one of the Tehillims my husband had donated to the yeshiva.
When my husband had met that rabbi, he asked him if he knows any shadchanim. The rabbi said that his wife’s a shadchanit. So when my husband came home he gave me her phone number. But by that point I was so sick of dealing with shadchanim that I didn’t even bother to write down her number.
So back to our story. Tuesday was Purim and we did the segula. The very next day an Israeli shadchanit called and said “My husband said you are interested in a shidduch for your daughter” Friday Chana met Yehoshua. Monday they redt the shidduch. The boy’s mother was abroad, so we had to wait a week. On Rosh Chodesh Nissan we did the “Dor Yesharim” genetic test. That Motsaei Shabbat they went out. Three hours before bedikat chametz we made the “lechaim.”
And just a month before, on Purim, I was in the dark, telling my friends “I don’t even have a single name!”
What a lesson in how blind we are. The whole time Hashem was taking care of us. Hashem was saying: You already met the boy’s rebbe on Chanukah! Could you just relax a little bit?
Every morning we say the blessing, “Who gives the rooster understanding to distinguish between dark and light.” What’s amazing is that the rooster starts crowing when it’s still dark out.
At the time of complete darkness, when there is no other way out, we need to have that rooster’s understanding. To know that light is right around the corner.

[You can watch Reb. Smiles telling this story at , at 22:18


One comment

  1. I love this!

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