I am FINE!/?

I am FINE!/?
[In today’s therapeutic writing session with Yocheved Rottenberg, she had us choose out 3 smiley stickers that expressed how we were feeling. Here’s the photo of the stickers I chose out and decorated. And then Yocheved had us write a reflection on our stickers. I wrote about the stickers and how they relate to my recent spate of breathlessness].
Am I calm?
Am I nervous?
Am I so out of touch with myself that I don’t even know how I am until I stop breathing?
I feel fine.
I’m fine.
You are fine.
We are fine.
Everything’s fine.
The world’s fine.
Israel’s fine.
The 18-year-old with no legs is fine.
The hostages are fine.
My friend Chaya who’s son was killed in Gaza is fine.
Even if missiles start falling on us from Lebanon, that’s fine.
FINE. FINE. FINE.
Everything in the world, in Israel, in my life is FINE except my breathing.
Get with the game plan! Breath, lungs, spirit, unconscious supercomputer, subconscious pincushion
Don’t pull me down!
Don’t make me feel the Et Tsara Hee l’Yaakov we’re in, this time of suffering for the Jewish people
YOU are having trouble but this is not about me–I AM FINE!
?
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