The Iranian Attack: All the Facts:) by Avi Gisberg
[Translated by JewishMOM.com]
[One of the ways we Israelis have been coping since October 7th is by maintaining our sense of humor. Dark humor, like in this post, helps too:]
Let’s set a few things straight with everything that’s going on now, according to the news outlets and political commentators.
Iran will attack tonight.
Or tomorrow.
Or on Tisha B’Av
Or on Purim as revenge for Achashverosh.
Iran will attack on its own.
Or with Hezbollah.
Or with Iraq.
Or with the Houthis.
Or with Hamas.
Or with Syria.
Or maybe all at once.
Israel will attack before Iran will—unless Iran attacks before Israel can.
There is no change in the safety instructions of the Home Front Command to Israel’s citizens. Just remain home next to a fortified room and a bomb shelter.
Always have a flashlight, a first aid kit, chargers, a generator, and a defibrillator nearby.
Please don’t panic, Iran only has about 15,000 rockets. Just don’t forget to always keep a big medical kit handy.
According to foreign sources, Haniyeh was killed by a bomb placed in his room, or a rocket from the house next door, or a rocket from a submarine, or by an airplane outside of Iran, or maybe he just fell down the stairs.
All that’s left of Mohammed Deif is just one ear, but it’s still breathing.
If Iran sends all of their 15,000 rockets to the north of Israel, Israel won’t respond in order to avoid a regional war.
If someone throws a Molotov cocktail in Tel-Aviv, Israel will respond and enter a regional war.
According to the commentators, there is nothing to worry about. The army is ready for anything except for the fact that it’s lacking manpower and ammunition.
Don’t worry! The entire world is with us and against us all at once.
But the truth is? There is no army better than our army. No country better than Israel.
Together we will win and then go back to eating each other alive.
P.S: Judging by the amount of rolls my wife bought, Iran’s first strike will be on the toilet paper factory.
May Hashem have mercy on us and watch over us! We need it!
Join the JewishMom.com WhatsApp group, where we strive to make every Jewish Mom smile every day 
https://chat.whatsapp.com/BkHRYpqamymCOY7RQ3ly6C
You got that right!:) AMEN!