Ever had a Miscarriage? READ THIS!

Ever had a Miscarriage? READ THIS!

The following letter by Rabbi Moshe Wolfson was written to a woman following a miscarriage. I had a painful miscarriage ten years ago, and this gave me so much chizuk. Hope it helps you too…

I would like to express a number of thoughts which I hope will, to a certain degree, ease your situation. It is possible that my words will offer you nothing new, but my feelings of sympathy impel me to try…

In Heaven there is a Heichal HaNeshamos, a Sanctuary of Souls, the source from which all the souls come. The Final Redemption will not come until all souls have left this Sanctuary and descended to this world (see Yevamos 62A).

Each soul has its own unique mission to fulfill in this world, and is allotted the life-span necessary to fulfill that mission. Some souls belong to a very exalted class. They are of such a sublime nature, so holy, sparkling and brilliant, that they simply cannot bear to exist in this world for even a short time. However, they too must leave the Sanctuary of Souls so that it will be emptied, and for other reasons known only to Hashem.

And so Hashem chooses a particular couple that will draw such a soul down to this world. It departs its place near the Throne of Glory and is immediately placed in an environment in which it is at home– an environment which is Divine in nature.

A woman who is with child carries within herself not only a child, but an entire Garden of Eden as well. A flame from the hidden light of Creation shines above the child’s head, and by that light the child sees from one end of the world to the other. A heavenly angel learns the entire Torah with the child. All this occurs with every Jewish child.

However, those special souls of which we have spoken cannot bear to separate themselves from their sublime existence by living in this earthly world. And so they are spared this discomfort and are returned to their Father in Heaven, having fulfilled their mission by leaving the Sanctuary of Souls, and residing within their mother, thus bringing the world one step closer to the Final Redemption.

And what of the mother, who had endured, hoped, and in the end was so terribly disappointed? She is of flesh and blood, and her feelings are understandable.

However, in loftier moments, in moments when her intellect can overcome her emotions, the mother can free herself of her earthly thoughts and share in the elation enjoyed by her soul. Then she will become infused by a feeling of true joy–the joy of a wealthy person who takes reckoning of all his business endeavors and sees that his profits far outweigh his losses.

She has merited to have had as her guest a pure, holy soul accompanied by a Divine light, a heavenly angel, and a heavenly Torah. The Master of the Universe had created a beis medrash, a study hall, for this soul within her. And when this soul left her, some of the holiness that had entered her remained, and will not leave her for the rest of her life.

She has merited to bring Moshiach’s arrival closer by offering a sacrifice for this purpose. She is not left with a mother’s usual compensation; all that she has endured has been for the sake of Hashem and His people, not for her personal joy and satisfaction. She has served not as a worker who awaits immediate payment, but as a loyal soldier, who is ready to suffer wounds in battle, if necessary, solely for the glory of the King…

One should realize that the term “miscarriage” is not found in the believing Jew’s dictionary. The term implies that one’s efforts have ended in failure, that all has been in vain. This is incorrect, for when a Jewish woman becomes pregnant, it is never in vain. Moreover, a child will merit techiyas hameisim, resurrection of the dead, even if its time with its mother was short-lived (see Igros Mosh, Yoreh De’ah III, 138)

May the Master of the Universe grant you nachas and good health. May you merit to bring into this world and raise healthy children and grandchildren who will toil in Torah study and mitzvos. May you and your husband derive much joy and satisfaction from your family and together escort your children to the chuppah with joy and feelings of gratitude to the One Above.

May you, along with all of the Jewish people, merit to greet Moshiach– whose arrival you have brought closer.

Reproduced from Service of the Heart by Rabbi Moshe Wolfson (translated from Yiddish by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman) with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

photo credit: Parker Knight via photopin cc


  1. Bah, doesn’t help. When you are trying for a year and finally get pregnant, only to have a miscarriage, and then month after month it still doesn’t work, so very nice, you can say however many special neshamot, but I’d rather less special ones that will stay.

    This sounds like very nice apologetics but it helps not at all at the end of the day.

  2. Chaya Rivka Carasso

    Thank you Chana Jenny for this beautiful explanation.

    I had a miscarriage in the 5th month. But Baruch Hashem I saw 3 boys born afterwards. It was a sad time, to terminate a pregnancy in the 5th month. I did not have this article to comfort me, but, even though many years have passed, I am now aware that the miscarriage had a purpose and that the child, a boy, is a soul who existed then and exists still.

    Wishing you, your family, and all your readers, a Freiliche Chanukah,

    Chaya Rivka+

  3. Beautiful! In between two healthy births, I had several miscarriages. After the last one which was the most difficult, I saw this as a sign that since we already had two beautiful, healthy daughters, we should adopt a child and give the gift of life to a child in need. My husband agreed.

    Twenty-nine years ago, we adopted a “special child” with a suitcase full of problems.

    Having a miscarriage is very painful, but there is a message and we have the choice as to whether or nor we want to see. I’m grateful I saw the message.


  4. Thank you for your comforting words. I have 7 blessings and 3 miscarriages. I recently suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I got pregnant while my dear MIL was in hospice with cancer. Two weeks after she passed on, I lost my pg symptoms and 2 weeks after that I miscarried. I saw the ultrasound with no heartbeat. When I miscarried, I buried our dear baby in a special place near Maple tree in our garden. I know our dear one is a special baby who will merit taking part in the resurrection and a special place in the world to come. It’s said that Moshiach will not come until all the souls to be born will come down. I’d like to think all our dear ones are a part of bringing Moshiach sooner.

    Blessings to all here who are suffering

  5. We never know what words will comfort someone after a loss. The concept that the pregnancy was not’for nothing’ or a failure can give strength to some. But it is unwise to tell someone right after a loss “Don’t worry, you are young you can have another child.” As if another child could be a replacement like another pet! That is what is nice about the sentiments of this letter, even the unborn child was of value and accomplished his/her mission even without being born. Children are a blessing that we can’t take for granted no matter how many we are privileged to have.

  6. I’ve read this before but somehow never connected it to the miscarriage I’d had.I was very fortunate that after some time I was able to see the good that came with the miscarriage. It helped us (newlyweds)daven and prepare for parenthood, and I encourage kallot to talk about miscarriage if it happens to them.
    However, I’d never thought about the T’chiyat hameitim possibilty or that this may have been a special soul who underwent a holy, meaningful journey. For years I have been sad that I didn’t have just one more child. Now I am very grateful to know that we merited to bring down yet one more soul

  7. I’ve had 5 miscarriages, and out of everything I’ve read or heard on the topic, this is the most powerful and gave me the most comfort.

Leave a Reply

Follow by Email