The Wedding that Wasn’t

The Wedding that Wasn’t

Last Shabbat HaGadol my oldest daughter met a wonderful young man at a Shabbat meal. They went out for a long while. He became a beloved part of our family, and she became a part of his. They almost got engaged, but they broke up instead. Their ruptured relationship leaving far more than 2 broken hearts in its wake.

So now Shabbat HaGadol is upon us yet again.
For obvious reasons, I’m feeling quite resentful about this Shabbat, and all the miraculous properties it supposedly possesses. The Sefat Emet, for example, says that on this Shabbat the 50 Shabbats of the year join together into a mighty, forceful gathering to bring the redemption. That’s why it’s called “Shabbat HaGadol,” the Great Shabbat.
But for my daughter, Shabbat HaGadol brought only false hopes, devastating disappointment, her personal redemption still nowhere in sight.
I did, though, hear a class on Passover this week that has given me me and my daughter a lot chizuk, and is helping me to reframe the aftermath of last Shabbat HaGadol.
In this week’s class “Special Sandwich: Korech” Rebbetzin Shira Smiles discusses the symbolism of eating the bitter Maror and sweet Matzah of redemption in a single sandwich. Korech, she explains, teaches us that there is a direct correlation between the Maror and the Matzah, the bitterness and the sweetness, we experience in life.
A woman who has a baby 9 months after her wedding will feel great joy, she explains, but her joy can’t compare with the joy of a woman who has a baby only after 10 years of waiting.
And, more to the point (at least to my point) she says you can’t compare the joy of a young woman who marries the first boy she dated (like me) and the joy of a woman who gets married after going on many dates over the course of many years until she finds her husband.

One comment

  1. I am sure that you know, a broken relationship sure beats a broken engagement, and definitely better than a divorce. If the decision to split up was one sided, it is painful. May she heal and move forward to find her true match. Whatever insight she gains into her feelings or relationship building can only be a silver lining to this cloud of pain. Chag kasher vsameach

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