I’m in the West, but my Heart’s in the East
Tonight, as I sit in Baltimore (with my father on the mend in the hospital B”H) awaiting Hezbollah’s response to Israel’s assassination of Fuad Shukr, I’m realizing that when your heart’s in Israel it’s actually easier to be THERE than HERE.
This feeling I have reminds me of the saying: “To be a mother is to watch your heart walk around outside of your body.”
That’s why I was nearly paralyzed with anxiety when l left my very first baby with a babysitter that very first time…
And that’s why I felt near-panic sending my no-longer-a-kindergartener off to his 1st day of 1st grade on the big bus…
That wasn’t just scary. That was: My heart is walking around outside of my body, no longer protected by my ribs or even by my skin, as vulnerable as a soap balloon bobbing across a neighbor’s newly-mowed lawn.
That’s how I’m feeling tonight. Sitting on my own in a silent bikur-holim room.
When I’m home in Jerusalem and the news is scary, my heart jumps a bit when I hear the war planes roaring overhead as well as the helicopters rushing Israel’s leaders to emergency meetings at the Knesset. But then I look around my home and see my kids and my husband. And I know everything’s fine. Because I’m THERE. With everyone. Being FINE. And there’s camp tomorrow. And I’m setting the table for dinner. And the kids are splashing around in the backyard pool.
But tonight, so far away, it feels like I’m leaving my babies with a babysitter for the first time.
But tonight the babysitter is Nasrallah. Ali Khamenei. Sinwar.
NO!
Tonight, please Hashem, let the babysitter be YOU:)
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Yes, Hashem is caring for all of his precious babies with the most loving compassion possible.
I love that expression of my heart ❤️ walking around outside my body! So accurate!